Ok....I can't believe its been close to a month since I've written anything on here!! Not a recipe....not a verse....not a thought....NOTHING!!!! I'm thinking its probably because at this point, I'm feeling NOTHING!!!! and yet...I'm guessing I shouldn't be confessing this!!! However....I'm going to go against my "better" judgement and confess it now so I won't have to confess it LATER!!! anyway... life has been nothing but a blur..... when you run a retail shop, and get your Christmas decorations out at the end of October... it begins to take a toll on what you do for your family during the holidays... Thanksgiving came and went.... and one day, I was up in our attic closet and saw all of my gorgeous acorns that I used to sell in my shop and I realized I hadn't even put those in the bowl like I use to do !! So I got those out for about 2 weeks and put them in this gorgeous new bowl that we are carrying at the shop....we enjoyed those for a very short while! That didn't make any of it "better" either!!! Still frustrated!!! Then, I was blessed to have Lindsey Williamson ask if she could do some arrangements for the shop for advertisement for her floral design! What a blessing for me! It was a HUGE blessing and help for our Open House for Emily Ozier and her beautiful paintings!!! That was alot of fun!!! But still I had to gear up for my annual Christmas Party!!!! Thankfully, Lindsey was still in the picture and put her incredible floral talents to work and we were set!!!! However.... next year.... I hope she will cater as well!! Now we are pretty much settled into the exam/Christmas schedule, and , oh yeah..... Basketball!!! What fun!!!! I had forgotten to put that on my list of things to do while I fretted over the shop,etc.... We are very glad to be in the basketball routine again! This year its been hard to get back into it because we were in the State Playoffs and that puts basketball on the" backburner" so to speak ( much to Miller's dismay! ) I hate that.... I know its hard, but I don't know how to get around it! Now we have a child that is struggling to get back into that mode and feeling very frustrated!!! WE are working on that.... diligently!!! On top of that... we had our dreams dashed just a bit tonight... which I hate that I let myself fall victim!!! We thought Holly and Brad were moving to Anniston on Jan 1st and now that has been postponed for a short while.... I know that in all of this God is working for good... for HIS good!!! and ultimately, for our good even if we can't see it at the time! I hate that I talk about some of the things in my life that are so frustrating to me and I can't give details!!!! One day....pretty, pretty soon.... I'm just going to spill the beans!!!! but for now.... I can just say that I'm frustrated.... with the system, with the math, with the logistics.... and I can PrOUDLY say....it has NOTHING to do with any Church or any "group!" I'm just frustrated with God!which I'm not sure is ok to say!!!! I feel like Rick Burgess's kids when he told them they "were making God sad!" ha ha!!!! He was trying to get them all ready for church and they were not cooperating!!! so he decided to tell them that they were making God sad! One of them began to cry...." I don't want to make God sad!!!!" Well, I certainly understand what Rick was trying to convey and yet I also know that I am making God sad by not trusting in His every move in my live and in my children's lives! And really, it just means I'm VERY frustrated with myself for not trusting in God's perfect will that I so easily and readily tell other's about!! its just plain embarassing that I fell victim to it tonight!! I am truly ashamed! I have to ask your forgiveness in this, and ultimately, His forgiveness!!! He loves us so very much that He only wants the very best for us!!! Why can't I remember this??? Why can't I trust in this????
I really am very thankful for His unconditional love for me!!!! He loved me first!!!! Certainly, I can love Him and tell others about His love!!!!! and if you have something that you are troubled with or ashamed of...please don't hesistate to tell Him about it!!!! It doesn't matter if its lack of Trust like in my case with my own children and their future....or just simply a lack of trust that He loves You so much that He gave His life for you , that you might have life everlasting!!! He is always there for you!!!!!