The House(s) that Built Me!!!

For a while now I have been in love with Miranda Lambert's song The House that Built Me. For some reason it just stirs something in my soul and makes me very nostalgic! Of course, it doesn't take that much to make me feel that way but for some reason, this song really does it!!! I'm sure alot of you think I'm over dramatizing the lyrics, etc.... but when you think about the words to this song.... it really does take you down memory lane!! Luckily, most of the memories are wonderful!!! I can't help but notice the comparisons to my every day life and the memories that are truly from the houses, cities, etc.... that I've lived in, or to the people that came into my life and made a lasting impact. I think about the dog's we buried, the rooms that I did my homework in... or listened to music in when I was suppose to be doing my homework!!! or the handprints left behind for another homeowner to wonder about!! I love it when she sings that if the lady of the house will just let her in for a minute... she won't take anything... just a memory!!! WOW!!! I sit here and wonder if my kids have memories worth taking from our houses.... is our home something that they will look back and say... This is the house that built me!!!! As the song progresses she begins to sing about how she got lost along the way.... she forgot who she was.... I have been there but thankfully, was drawn back Home! I got lost along the way and forgot "Whose" I was!! Haven't we all been rolling along life's path only to realize that we don't know where we are going or why??? I want so badly to change the lyrics and tell people that we need to realize Whose we are and not worry about "who" we are!!! Does that make since at all??? If we stray from God's path He is faithful to bring us back..... She also sings that if only "She could touch this place or feel it, This brokenness inside me might start healing" ... When we are broken, and tired.... praise God that He is there to pick us up and set us back on the right path... the one that He so carefully laid out for us from the beginning of time!!! We don't need to go back and touch some physical building... we just need to trust God and look to His word for comfort and guidance. Psalms 9:10 tells us "Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You!".

Looking back over some.. well, many... years!!!! The circumstances in my life and the people in my life have helped shape me and mold me into the person that God wants me to be.... I have tried to make my own paths way too many times and am by no means completely out of the woods, yet!!!! I don't suppose I will be until I see Him in all of His glory in Heaven!!! But.... I am realizing now that every circumstance that I tried to run from, hide from, etc... helped to strengthen my faith and that each "house" that I lived in... whether it be a literal house or a "house" of friends, or a "house" of trials... helped to build me and continues to do so. Now I want to press on and make our house a home that my children will look back and sing or say.... "If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.Won't take nothing but a memory... from the house that... built me!!!"

Lord, make our home a place where memories will be made... ones that will be cherished forever and passed down for generations to come!!! Thank You for Your promises in Joshua...Now fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness... but if serving the Lord seems undesireable to you... choose for yourselves whom you will serve... As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord" vs. 14-15

It's All About Perspective!!!!

Way back when.... I was probably a freshman or a sophmore in high school.... we would sing this song in chapel or maybe at a youth retreat...not really sure!!! Shows my age, huh? anyway... its always been one of my all time favorites and its taken from Lamentations 3: 40 . "LET US SEARCH, AND TRY OUR WAYS... AND TURN AGAIN TO THE LORD... LET US LIFT UP OUR HEARTS WITH OUR HANDS.... LIFT OUR HEARTS, WITH OUR HANDS,UNTO GOD IN THE HEAVENS.... LET US TURN ... AGAIN TO THE LORD!!!!"
I thought of this song tonight as I read the verse in Psalms 139:23 "Search me O God and know my heart: test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!".
Thats a pretty humbling verse when you've been mad at your husband of almost 27 years!!! I'm not at liberty to go into all of the details... (Jim does like SOME privacy!!!) but I will tell you that we are both under ALOT of stress and need and covet your prayers!! Its times like these that Satan seeks to destroy and devour a marriage that is is devoted to Him and to each other!!! Why do we let the little things build up so much??? Why is it so hard to talk to the one you love more than your own life?? and yet, why?? why?? is it so easy to stay mad at each other for an entire day??? I'm EXHAUSTED!!!!! I've always heard the expression, "It takes alot more energy to frown than it does to smile!" Now I believe it!!!! I'm not even going to write much on this topic because I'm not sure I've totally forgiven and forgotten... I'm just going to say that its not worth harping on the petty stuff in life!!!! Life is way too short to not enjoy the one that God gave you and to treasure each moment that you have together!!!!
As we start a new phase of our life together, I look forward to growing closer to Jim BECAUSE of the new difficulties that will be arising!!! Even if I view change as negative... I know that God doesn't put anything in our path that He doesn't intend for our good!!! ITS ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE!!!!! I wish I had known this early on in our marriage!!!! but then, there wouldn't have been alot of makeup sessions as Jim calls them!!!! :)
Thank You, Lord.... "And to God Almighty, the Author of Life--- who has for now, blessed me with these" KKingsbury

A lonely black sheep!!!!

OK.... for all of us that play farmville... a lonely black sheep showing up on our virtual farm isn't such a rare occurance!! However,,,, suppose you had a lonely friend, or a lonely child, or even a lonely spouse!!! Would you know what to do? You can't just post it on facebook for some other farm crazy soul to take care of it!!! You have to seek them out... take care of them, pray for them and spend time with them!!!! These past several weeks I have come across alot of lonely people in my life... and I must say, I am one of them!!!! Only because some of us... those that don't want to really share our hearts and souls, tend to clam up and pretend that all is ok!!! Instead of telling others that our hearts are sad, our dreams aren't becoming realities... or heaven forbid.... that we aren't trusting God for the outcome!!!! And that my friend.... makes for a very lost, lonely sheep!!!!! On farmville it tells you that maybe this sheep is lost and lonely because it is different and it needs someone to take care of it!!!! Luckily, we don't live in farmville and we know that if we are a lost, lonely sheep (person) that we need to go to our Heavenly Father and tell Him why we are lost and lonely!!! Even if its trivial!!! Even its selfish!!!! Even if we think our friends will laugh at us!!!! In reality, I bet every one of our friends would understand and want to be there for us!!!!! Isaiah 53:6 tells us that "we all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" it finishes by saying " the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all!!" What a humbling verse!!! And yet we are not alone!!! We all, in our own way.... are lead astray.... this time for me... its because of unmet expectations.... things that aren't going the way I had planned in my own mind.... reasons that for now... I can't give all of the details but can tell you that I am struggling with trusting God for the outcome. However.... because I am saved by Grace and through Faith in Jesus.... I know that He is in control of every situation that comes my way!!!!! and NOTHING..... can separate me from the love of Christ!!!! and truthfully... just because I might "feel" like that lost, lonely black sheep on farmville.... I KNOW that in Christ i have HOPE!!!!!! in fact... also in Isaiah... 40:11 it gives me a promise... " He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart: He gently leads those that have young!!!!"
For now.... I am trusting in my Shepherd to lead me gently, and help me to lead my "young"!!!! And I am so thankful for this opportunity!!!! As Karen says.... "And to God Almighty, the Author of Life, who has for now.... blessed me with these!!!!!
Thank you, Lord.... that I am a lamb in your flock!!!!!! Carry me... save me.... gently nudge me to follow your path.........

Is my lot secure?

Wow.... this blogging thing sure hasn't been what I wanted it to be!!! I thought it would be fun and lighthearted!!! Instead... its convicting! and makes me really stop and think about life and where i'm headed with my husband, children, shop, friends, etc.... I have to admit that when I re-read all of my earlier entries.... I was very convicted!!! and I'm very glad!!!! I am always open to being told what I"m doing wrong!!! I'm also very open to being told what i'm doing right... and I don't think that happens enough!!!
The verse that I read in Psalms 16:5 that prompted this blog post.... "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup, you have made my lot secure" I have always been very secure in God's love for me, Jim's love for me.... my children's love for me...
maybe I'm not secure in my own love for me???? anyway.... at this point in my life... I need to be re-assured of everyone
s love for me... not in a narcissistic way.... just a way that lets me know that everyone close to me stands behind me... backs me up... helps me in the day to day decisions of life... someone to pat me on the back and say.... Your doing a good job!!!!
People are always quick to tell you what you are doing wrong!!! Like I don't know already!!! FOR THE LOVE!!!!!! we all know when we are doing something wrong... we just try to justify it or make it better or pretend..... blah, blah , blah!!!!! Where are the people in our lives that tell us when we are doing something RIGHT???? guess what... they are right under our noses!!!! In fact.... they "don't fall far from the tree!" Go figure!!! This is really why I started this blog... because I wanted to stay close to my children, my parents, Jim's parents, any and all aunts, uncles, cousins,friends etc... that want to contribute!!!!! Lets all help each other to "not fall far from the tree" of family, values, life lessons... and most importantly .... the biblical truths that are what make all of this possible!!!!

I am not at liberty to tell exactly what my "ulterior motives" are with this blog.... but you probably can guess... if not ... just hang on!!! It won't be long!!! And at THAT point.... I will need a lot of you to be telling me what I am doing RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! and of course,,,, the recipes, gardening tips, etc... will soon follow!!! Once I get over this ever impending "hump" in my life!!!!!!!
and for now... as Karen says, " And to God, Almighty, the Author of Life... who has ----for now, Blessed me with these!!!!!"
Thank You, Lord, for all the wonderful people in my life that you have blessed me with!!!!!!! I am forever grateful!!!!!

Discontentment vs. Contentenment

If I were a lawyer and I could debate this issue.... I definitely would not get advice from a woman!!! why? because our hearts deceive us and satan is so on the prowl!!! I find this true most often when Jim and I are the beach and I can't even begin to put a finger on the reason!!!! Is it because we are here alone alot of the time???? is it because we share a bathroom here and at home we don't??? (thats what Jim thinks the reason is!!! And he may be right!!) Why do I feel the need for my space so badly when we are at our beach house??? I think its satan's way of "getting" at us!! I truly do!!! I don't understand it but I'm willing to admit it!!! Also, we have a 16 year old again and we havent had that for 7 years!! Thats a long time and I feel like we are very out of practice!! This trip, Holly isn't with us as she is on her first vacation with Brad's family in Las Vegas and having a wonderful time!! I learned early on with Mitch and Britney that we DO have to share our children with their other set of parents!! I hate calling them in laws because in our house...I want to be their other set of parents!! I want to help raise them, and help them raise THEIR children!! To be there for them in every circumstance and in every situation just as our parents were!!! And I excpext the IN LAWS to do the same!!! ha ha!!! and they do!!! WE are SOOO blessed!!!!!
Which brings me to the verses that I finally looked up tonight after I looked up the definitions of discontentment and contentment... you might want to do that sometime!! I found it very enlightening and oh so true!! The meaning of discontentment..... a restlest longing for different circumstances!!! Wow!! like it took anyone a long time to come up with that!!! But gosh its so true!!!! How many times have I been "restless" in many a circumstance???? I shudder to think.....Contentment....the experience of being at ease in one's situation!!! What a way to sum that up!!! Of course, as Christians we all know that if we have laid all our burdens at the foot of the cross, if we have totally surrendered our burdens, desires, guilt, requests, etc... to Him... that He will give us perfect peace as only He can give.... and then of course, we will definitely be "at ease" in every situation because we can face each situation knowing that He is going before us and paving the way!!!
I am praying that Jim and I truly learn this over the summer and that we put into practice what we are learning!! Even as we sit here arguing!!! GO FIGURE!!!! I guess I need to just go hug his neck and get over it.... now don't I??????